This week’s topic at  Griefshare was “When Your Spouse Dies.” I was very interested in attending this  meeting because I wanted to learn more about what my mother experienced losing her spouse because I couldn’t relate to a spousal loss. Because of the President’s Day holiday, I did not realize the group was still going to meet so I missed the viewing of the video this week.

I still worked through the workbook this week and noticed one key thread that my mother wished she had known a long time ago. They emphasized how after losing a spouse old friendships would change. I think that was really tough on her as some friends left her behind because she wasn’t part of a couple anymore or they just didn’t know how to be friends with a widow (probably not the best of friends anyway). Mom also noticed even her deeper friendships changed too as her friends’ lives or marriages had not changed much but Mom’s life and new status as a widow changed a lot in her life.  The Griefshare workbook this week encourages making new friends which my mother did try to do and still does as the loss of her spouse forces her to face a new identity.

A few years ago, I was told (by someone other than my mother who has lost both a parent and her spouse) that “losing a parent was like 9/11 and losing a spouse was like 9/11 with a nuclear bomb.” I just can’t imagine losing a spouse.

Key verse of scripture that helped me this week:

“The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.” (Psalm 146:9)

Don’t forget to sign up for the Mom Minus Dad monthly e-newsletter that offers advice from parent loss topic experts each month as well as profiles helpful resources and books each month- recent articles can be found on the articles page here

I just found out this weekend I have been nominated for 2009 Georgia Author of the year by the Georgia Writer’s Association! Yeah! Cool. I love being part of  an independent writers community- very cool, independent and innovative community of thinkers. I can’t wait to meet the other nominees and chat with them about their works, thoughts and lives. For those of your considering putting your thoughts on paper, do it! Don’t edit as you write and you won’t regret a minute of it. It’s the best.

Helpful grief support groups are hard to find after you lose a parent. That is why 8 years after my father’s death; I had heard so many good things about the Griefshare program I had to experience it myself. This 3rd post is a continuation of my experience in the 13 week program (see the first post for more background on Griefshare and how I found out about it).

This third meeting is much more intimate than the others but in a good way. At first I was sad to see so many people still not returning to the group but then interested to learn more about the 2 people losses who continued to return to the group week after week including the personal stories of loss moderators. This week the dynamic changed a little probably because of the building comfort we each felt with each other as we grew more familiar with each other week after week. Before we watched the video we each shared more about different issues that last week’s questions in the workbook or daily interactions triggers emotions of our losses. As everyone shared their perspective, feelings and difficulties, grief seemed to dissipate as friendship and understanding built a strengthening bond between us all. (more…)

Helpful grief support groups are hard to find after you lose a parent. That is why 8 years after my father’s death, I had heard so many good things about the Griefshare program I had to experience it myself. This 2^nd post is a continuation of my experience in the 13 week program (see the first post for more background on Griefshare and how I found out about it).

At the second meeting at a local church in Atlanta, about one third of the original grievers returned to the group. My heart sunk in disappointment because I knew how helpful this information could be to others in the beginning stages of grief based on my experience. I craved healing for each of their losses. I prayed they each found strength to return next week. In our smaller group, we each talked about our losses and why we attended Griefshare to inform the Director of Adult Ministries who was attending the group for the first time. The video this week was on the topic of “The Journey of Grief” and afterward our group discussed a few questions presented by the moderators. (more…)