Today’s topic at my weekly Griefshare group was “The Uniqueness of Grief art I.”  The main theme of the class evolved around understanding that everyone grieves differently- even in the same family- and that’s ok.

The video this week talked about common issues for grieving parents, effects on marriage and grief as well as how to help grieving children. I did notice the video is geared more toward the typical American family (2 kids) and didn’t specifically address the needs of adult children at all which is unfortunate.

The video talked about how an antipated death affects your grief because you do a lot of grieving ahead of the actual death so your grief after the death may not be as long but doesn’t lessen the grief you experience. I would agree with this as I believe my grieving started at diagnosis for my father. (more…)

The topic this week at Griefshare was “Why?.”  The main theme of the class evolved around answering the question of why: why did your loved one have to die? Does God care at all? How does the Bible answer my Why? Questions? How do I find any hope?

The video this week talked about how all the why’s of grief make sense if you understand God’s whole story told in the Bible. The experts discussed how to deal with all of your unanswered questions. One important point they made that I agree with is that you never make progress in grief if you stay stuck in asking why. It is an important question to ask but don’t get stuck there. The way you move forward is seeing how you can use this challenge to grow and if you’re a Christian how to glorify God with this challenge. (more…)

This week’s topic at  Griefshare was “When Your Spouse Dies.” I was very interested in attending this  meeting because I wanted to learn more about what my mother experienced losing her spouse because I couldn’t relate to a spousal loss. Because of the President’s Day holiday, I did not realize the group was still going to meet so I missed the viewing of the video this week.

I still worked through the workbook this week and noticed one key thread that my mother wished she had known a long time ago. They emphasized how after losing a spouse old friendships would change. I think that was really tough on her as some friends left her behind because she wasn’t part of a couple anymore or they just didn’t know how to be friends with a widow (probably not the best of friends anyway). Mom also noticed even her deeper friendships changed too as her friends’ lives or marriages had not changed much but Mom’s life and new status as a widow changed a lot in her life.  The Griefshare workbook this week encourages making new friends which my mother did try to do and still does as the loss of her spouse forces her to face a new identity.

A few years ago, I was told (by someone other than my mother who has lost both a parent and her spouse) that “losing a parent was like 9/11 and losing a spouse was like 9/11 with a nuclear bomb.” I just can’t imagine losing a spouse.

Key verse of scripture that helped me this week:

“The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.” (Psalm 146:9)

Helpful grief support groups are hard to find after you lose a parent. That is why 8 years after my father’s death, I had heard so many good things about the Griefshare program I had to experience it myself. This 2^nd post is a continuation of my experience in the 13 week program (see the first post for more background on Griefshare and how I found out about it).

At the second meeting at a local church in Atlanta, about one third of the original grievers returned to the group. My heart sunk in disappointment because I knew how helpful this information could be to others in the beginning stages of grief based on my experience. I craved healing for each of their losses. I prayed they each found strength to return next week. In our smaller group, we each talked about our losses and why we attended Griefshare to inform the Director of Adult Ministries who was attending the group for the first time. The video this week was on the topic of “The Journey of Grief” and afterward our group discussed a few questions presented by the moderators. (more…)

Helpful grief support groups are hard to find after you lose a parent. That is why 8 years after my father’s death, I had heard so many good things about the Griefshare program, I had to experience it myself. Every week for 13 weeks I will write about my experience attending the Griefshare program. Griefshare is a structured nondenominational thirteen-week support group with videos, a workbook and discussions about grief and loss.  The videos feature grief specialists talking about grief and recovery issues while telling real life stories of others who have experienced a loss. (more…)