Sheridan style dining chairs

As I am in the process of selling items from various family members’ estates, I came across this very helpful website by Judith Miller. She writes this incredible guide with full color photos of every type of antique you could think of. If you register on her website for free, you can access estimates of price ranges on items in her catalog. Very helpful for local or ebay sales to give you somewhere to start if you have no idea.

When you need organizing help after the loss of a parent, contact a member of NAPO. NAPO, The National Association of Professional Organizers,  operates as the national association dedicated to the field of organizing and provides referrals to local organizers. On its Web site, you will find local organizers to assist with memorial service planning or general organizing assistance. You can find a referral to a local organizer for short-term or long-term projects or a part-time personal assistant on the Web site. The organizers are either generalists in the field of organizing or specialists in particular areas, such as cleaning out garages/attics/basements, working with seniors, electronic and paper organization, estate sales, and moving and relocation.

MAIN NAPO PHONE: (847) 375-4746

For better tax planning strategies to assist your newly widowed parent or your family check out AARP’s Finance Guide, AARP’s  Tax-Aide, the section for widowed spouses of the American Institute for Economic Research’s “How to Avoid Financial Triangles”, the medical bill manager Medical Expense Manager (by the makers of Quicken) or Turbo Tax’s Its Deductible to help track and price (uses Ebay pricing) all your donations.

I recently learned about a program offered by many companies -such as Nike and Intel- and individuals for caregivers called Powerful Tools for Caregivers. Offered by non-profit Legacy Caregiver Services, Powerful Tools for Caregivers is a six week program for family and friends of older adults who have Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or other long-term debilitating diseases.

Class topics include: “Taking Care of You”, “Identifying and Reducing Personal Stress”, “Communicating Feelings, Needs and Concerns”, “Communicating in Challenging Situations”, “Learning from Our Emotions”, and “Mastering Caregiving Decisions”.

For more information about local classes offered email caregiver@lhs.org. Or go to the Web site.

Below are a few questions I asked Sheila Warnock, author of Share the Care recently for my monthly newsletter…(sign up for monthly newsletter here)

JH: When an adult child first realizes they need outside help in assisting a newly widowed parent, what is the first thing they need to do to assemble support team or “caregiver group”? How soon after loss do you think this should take place?

 SW: GET EVERYONE ON THE SAME PAGE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. A family discussion with your siblings and newly widowed parent will enable your family to honestly determine what kind of assistance is needed, who in the community might help and how fast you need to get organized. It’s crucial to recognize if your parent will need a great deal of support, or if they can do well just cushioned with loving practical and emotional backing for a few weeks or months. If a parent needs constant companionship and physical care other options may need to be considered with input from his or her physician. The key is to agree support is needed. A parent might resist allowing others to help fearing loss of independence, being perceived as a burden, or that they could never reciprocate. (more…)

Adrienne E. Simpson, President of Smooth Mooove Senior Relocation Services, Inc. in Stone Mountain, Georgia, hopes to help other seniors and families avoid moving nightmares by anticipating many specific downsizing and relocation needs of seniors ahead of time. Ms. Simpson started her four-year-old company after she was personally overwhelmed by the physical work and time commitment required when moving her mother from Georgia from Michigan. Below Ms. Simpson answered some common questions about moving seniors…

Q: Ms. Simpson, Can you explain how moving needs are different when you are moving an older parent? 
A: Seniors don’t move because they want to. They move because they have to.  They move for three reasons:  failing health, loss of a spouse, or a house that is overwhelming with responsibility. When a senior moves they typically downsize.  They don’t take everything with them.  They have to make difficult decisions on what to keep, sell, donate, and give away.  The downsizing process is overwhelming, emotional, and traumatic.  It’s what makes moving seniors different.

Q:  What is the biggest mistake adult children make with regard to moving an aging parent?
A: Waiting too late, allowing their parents to delay the event until they are in crisis.  When the move is done during crisis, the senior loses the ability to make critical decisions on what will happen with personal property.  The children make all the decisions and often decide that everything is junk and discard everything.
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